This might be a good time to let you know that I am polyamorous💍.
Yes, my open attitude extends beyond typical life experiences and into the taboo subject of relationships. Monogamish was once used to describe me – I think I like that word best. Polyamorous has so much…. baggage behind it. Plus, I hesitate to say I have ‘intimate’ connections with anyone, let alone multiple partners. I am affectionate, passionate, and loyal, but… monogamous, emotional, and intimate aren’t usually words I would ascribe to myself.
Descriptions I do ascribe to:
▪️Perpetual first dater (I wear this title with pride)
▪️Affectionate relationships with a side of random sex (Yes please)
▪️Commitment without the expectations or societal conditions (Sign me up!)
Right? Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it to.🧁
IMPORTANT: My relationship orientation is my choice, and my choice alone. It is not influenced by popular opinion or people-pleasing. It is definitely not because I lack self-confidence (I think I’ve already made that clear throughout Column 1. + 2. + 3. + 4. lol).
I am in open relationships because that is what I need to be happy. I cannot operate without freedom. Does it mean I always take the opportunity to use my free pass at sex with a stranger, or dinner dates with a hot random I met at a cafe? No, it doesn’t. Surprisingly, I spend most of my time and energy with the person I am primarily dating.
But – it also allows me to take advantage of any situation – like the one where I found myself with two gorgeous men in a luxury hotel room… sipping champagne and…
Everything in the world is about sex except sex.
Sex is about power.
Thursday. Champagne and the City continued…
I immediately pushed Liam away and called for Trey. He didn’t respond.
It wasn’t that I was upset to be kissing Liam, quite the opposite. I was ecstatic that he had the confidence to initiate it, and I was incredibly attracted to him, but I didn’t want to sacrifice my night to a potentially dramatic outburst between two men. I called for Trey again. I could hear Liam behind me, telling me that it was okay and that Trey didn’t mind. I ignored him and called out for Trey once more. When I still did not receive a response, I lifted myself from the silken sheets and went in search of him. I didn’t want Trey to think I had chosen his friend over him. While I was absolutely into the idea of hooking up with them both, I wanted Trey to know that he had priority vote.
“Liam, I only want Trey,” I said, just loud enough to be heard from the balcony.
To my delight, Trey emerged from the balcony, cigar still in hand. He was incredibly handsome and his charm was only accentuated by the pleased smile he wore as he walked up to me, standing so close that I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes. He pushed the hair back from my face before kissing me. Wrapping my arms around his neck I became lost in his kiss, and in response Trey picked me up and balanced me on his hips so I could wrap my legs around him. Walking me over to the bed, he placed me down gently.
Liam was sipping Champagne and watching us with a smile. I didn’t mind; apparently, neither did Trey. As he went to pour us some more Champagne, he motioned for Liam to keep me… entertained. It was all the confirmation I needed. I shivered with excitement as Liam’s fingers trailed from my hand, up my arm, across my collarbone and along my jaw. He held me tight as he pulled me in for a kiss. Moments later, Trey, looking like Adonis, handed me a glass of Champagne and took his turn to kiss me before I could take a sip. Liam began unzipping the back of my dress as Trey watched, both of them taking a moment to appreciate my white and black lace lingerie underneath.
Trey, still standing beside the bed, took my face gently in his hands and leaned in to kiss me. Our breathing became heavy and, after taking my glass of Champagne and placing it safely on the table, he pushed me back into the pillows beside Liam. Kissing me deeply, Trey’s body weight held me still as Liam slowly traced his fingers along my hips and then slipped his hand underneath my panties. I squirmed with delight and Trey stopped to take a sip of Champagne while watching Liam slowly pull my lingerie off.
Trickling some of the bubbles onto my chest, Trey kissed away the liquid until his lips met mine, while Liam simultaneously placed his fingers inside me. My body was bursting with pleasure, I wanted them both so badly. Trey wrapped one arm around my waist to hold me still, kissing me ferociously as Liam placed both his hands on my hips, pressing down while kissing tantalizingly along the lines of my stomach. I gasped at the first burst of pleasure that came from the pulsing moments of Liam’s fingers and tongue between my legs. And then I fully gave in to the moment. All hesitation gone, I lost myself in both of them.
What is your outlook on sex and relationships…..do you:
▪️fantasize about situations like the one I just described?
▪️laugh and think ‘been there, done that’ (and more)?
▪️cringe or blush at the mention of sex, let alone with two men?
▪️accept that people do it, but think ‘it’s just not for me’?
▪️strongly prefer traditional sex/relationship roles?
NONE of the above are the wrong attitudes to have – there is no ‘correct’ approach or mindset.
Only YOU know what YOU are comfortable with.
But you have to be honest with yourself. Do you want to have an exciting night of Champagne drinking followed by a threesome with two gorgeous men?
If the answer is yes, the next honest question to ask yourself is WHY?
▪️Does it truly excite you?
▪️Or are you doing it for validation…
▪️Or worse, to make someone else happy.
If you want further AMAZING, unconventional, (and entertaining) insight into the dynamics of sex and relationships – definitely watch this clip of Dan Savage. You won’t be disappointed.
What about me? Did I enjoy this night? What were my motives?
Enjoyment level: extreme.
Motives: Novelty and hedonism.
The boys were gorgeous, I was in a position of power, and I chose to engage with both of them. I love the idea of exploring sex, in almost any capacity as you will eventually find out, but I am not a sexually driven person. Confused?
After a few more stories and getting to know me a bit more, that statement will make perfect sense. And perhaps….help you understand yourself a bit better.
Illustration credit: Megan Hess; @meganhess_official
Quote: Oscar Wilde