I became a statistic today… and I am pretty excited about it.
I am one of the million data points (i.e. subscribers) to the Bossbabe podcast!!
And what a great statistic to be. Those ladies have their shit together and certainly help me figure out mine. After listening to the podcast I felt energized and motivated… as well as spoiled by finding out how to be a recipient of BossBabe 25 – a resource of 25 essential things you need for personal and professional growth. I can’t wait to get my hands on that gold mine.
Thanks to Natalie (CEO of BossBabe) I also realized that I am an ambivert. One of those people who personality is balanced between being an introvert and an extrovert. Natalie explained it best, but the basic message was that introversion doesn’t necessarily indicate shy, or a lack of desire to be around people. In my case, it means I crave the company of authentic people (not exactly a shocker to anyone who knows me) and interactions that I feel add value to my life. Refilling my champagne glass could mean a bubble bath at the end of the night, or enjoying a brunch date with a group of like-minded boss babes.
I feel, as an ambivert, I have the best of both worlds! I can be productive, working solo for hours in a cafe building my empire, but I can also go out for bubbles with my best girlfriends (or someone new).
As an ambivert, as well as someone who is career driven, I often find myself in the situation where I have to choose between introversion or extroversion. Should I stay in and be productive, or perhaps engage in a little solo R&R, or should I accept whatever social invitation I have been presented with that day. The decision always comes down to two considerations. First:
“Does this light my soul on fire?”
(as Tim Ferris and Mark Manson state so perfectly)
“If it isn’t a fuck yes, it’s a no”
Which reminds me… what exactly was it that happened last week when my Tinder date arrived at the hotel lobby lounge? Did it light my soul on fire? Was it a fuck yes?
It probably isn’t what you expected.
A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.
Thursday. Champagne and the City continued…
“Selena,” his voice caressed my name, “Trey. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
His British accent caught me completely by surprise. An attractive, stylish Arab with a sexy, unexpected accent… I had no chance. Without hesitation he took a seat right beside me, sitting so close that his legs brushed against mine. There was a small, amused smile on my lips as I took a sip of my Champagne. He had confidence and a commanding presence. Good. The bartender looked over at us with a knowing smile on her face and a slight nod of approval for my suitor of the night. Clearly, she felt he was an appropriate date and I happened to agree; he had me entranced within the first few minutes of meeting.
Trey leaned in towards me as we spoke and I could tell he was intrigued by our immediate exchange of witty remarks and our ability to dive into conversation without any awkwardness. My eyes held his, but I was acutely aware of his appearance. The narrow lapel of his light grey twill Armani blazer hung slightly open to reveal a casually unbuttoned black shirt. He had positioned one of his Prada Saffiano leather penny loafers onto the foot rest of my stool, and his grey slim-fit, cuffed suit pants pulled tight across his well-defined thigh as he pressed his knee against the exposed skin of my leg. Trey’s proximity made it difficult to focus, but I pretended otherwise. He was articulate; his conversation was as fluid in person as it had been over text – laced with sarcasm yet surprisingly intelligent. Immediately upon sitting he informed me that his colleague would be down in a moment to join us, he was currently experiencing a wardrobe crisis, and then turned towards the bartender to order a double Macallan’s Ruby neat.
It was his first mention of a third addition to our date. This information would have certainly bothered most women, but I felt only excitement. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend – I was looking for a good time. The inclusion of a second male who I confidently assumed would be as attractive and wealthy as Trey, only added certainty of that outcome. The bartender delivered a crystal tumbler filled with expensive scotch and Trey raised his glass to mine. His almost black irises gazing deep into my gold-flecked, dark brown eyes, we took a celebratory sip to our first rendezvous. A moment of silence passed as we smiled at each other, likely we were both narcissistically commending ourselves on our Tinder prowess, but was quickly interrupted by the approach of a handsome male.
In contrast to Trey’s dark hair, black eyes, and olive complexion, the new addition to our party was blonde, green-eyed, and golden-tanned. Without even having spoken to him, I could tell by his playful half smile and casual swagger that he was clearly the party vibe to Trey’s sexy vibe. Looking at them side by side, I didn’t know how a girl could choose between them. They were both unfairly attractive. Trey formally introduced me to Liam, his business partner, who immediately pulled me in for an informal hug.
“You are gorgeous. Well done, Trey. Shall we?”
Blunt and charmingly inappropriate, I appreciated his presence already. Taking my hand, Liam pulled me towards him, effectively leaving Trey alone at the bar. Laughing, Trey shook his head at his friend and slid a couple hundred-dollar bills towards the waitress without even seeing the bill. He walked away without waiting for his change. I smiled, my kind of man. Liam had led me out the entrance onto the sidewalk and was holding onto my waist as if he never intended to let go. Trey passed by us to open the door of a black luxury car, then stood aside and waited for me to take my seat first. The entire situation was surreal. I wondered how I must appear to the unaware observer: one glamorous female escorted by two gorgeous men. The fashionable attire, the arrogant demeanour…no one would ever suspect my modest background and small-town upbringing.
Well well well.
Apparently my solo date had turned into a group activity. Trey had failed to mention that his attractive colleague would be joining us, turning what could have been a romantic evening into what I was certain would be pure debauchery. Considering I had been blindsided, I should have been upset, skeptical, or resistant. Right?
How would you have felt if you were in my situation?
Would you be okay with these men taking you out, effectively ‘ruining’ any potential of a romantic relationship blossoming from your ‘perfectly’ planned blind date?
Would you have felt resentment towards Trey? Hostility towards Liam? Discomfort at the idea of being alone with two men? Or perhaps an overwhelming sense of despair at yet another failed attempt to set yourself on a trajectory towards marriage…
If your answer is yes to all of the above… I challenge you to think beyond the immediate circumstance. Yes, you are no longer on an intimate date, but you are now in the company of two friends who clearly have great chemistry and know how to have a good time. How often do you get to hit up the town on the arm of two suited up boys, with a luxury car taking you from one hot spot to the next, and a glass of Champagne awaiting you at each location?
If your response to the situation is positive (i.e. excited and intrigued at the idea of a date with two hot men) – then you are on the same page as me, beautiful. The hedonist in me loves the novelty of the situation. I also embrace a challenge. Just because I was now joining a party of two, didn’t mean I would come out without the affections of one. In fact, doesn’t that just double the odds?
It might depend on how well I could command their attention. Or perhaps…
The attention of a crowd?
One of our stops in the night might have involved exactly that.
Curious? Until next week…
Illustration credit: Megan Hess; @meganhess_official